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Shambling towards Humanity


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I take prozac and welbutrin for anxiety and depression. I don't like talking about my depression and I don't want the inevitable fuss that would come from telling my doctor that I have had suicidal thoughts .... but I have had those for more years than I can even remember ... as early as junior high school.

Right now, I am not terrific, but I am getting by
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Hi Zagadka,

I am so sorry to hear how you have been feeling so down for so long. That sounds incredibly difficult. I am glad you have come her to look for support. Have you had a chance to check out the program yet? Any questions so far?

Also, have you talked to a doctor about how you have been feeling and your difficulty sleeping? Have you received any form of treatment for your depressive symptoms before? 
Ashley, Health Educator
9 років тому 0 3 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Just a few things about me
  • I am 51 years old
  • I was laid off from a job I love on Aug 30
  • I live alone
  • I have few friends, and don't like to impose on them
  • I have been trying to manage my depression on my own for 25 years ... with little success
  • I have a dog
  • I was divorced nearly 5 years ago, but was only able to afford to move out from my ex three months ago
  • I enjoy books, movies, astronomy, and working
For the last week I feel like I have been trapped in the worst circumstances of my life. To sleep at night I have been using simple sleep aides (warm milk, gravol) but I have been finding that they don't let me fully wake up in the morning.
Not that waking up is any great treat. I have been getting up to about 5 or so minutes of dry heaves followed by taking the pooch for her walk. Honestly, my dog is the only reason I am keeping to any kind of schedule. 
Anyway, this feels like a last ditch effort to try to become a human being and I am not sure what happens if I can't improve myself. I need to find new work ... soon, but I need to be in a place where I can be useful to a new employer.

There is a quote that describes my predicament, it comes from one of my favourite shows:  "My shoes are too tight, and I have forgotten how to dance."

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