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soooo lame


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Hi Gang.
 
I have doing a lot of things and been turned inward these past few moons...
 
Buying my business and striking out on my own did not work out, Not enough liquid.  So I consolidated all my debts that came about during periods of hypomania and am going to clear up those.  And at 13.5% with the bank it will be easier than with the c-cards at 28%... .  Still, I will never understand why the bank wanted to leave me with the same credit limit!!! I have a huge loan to get rid of the c-cards. I admit I got into trouble because of an illness. And still here is more poison!!!  Why not offer a liquor cabinet to a recovering alcoholic??? and see if their will is strong??? what non-sense....  I had to push to have it reduced by 75% to a level where I had enough for an emergency and that is all!!! 1500$ point.
 
So I went to the pdoc and I had to raise the mood stablizer.  From what he understood I am still having some instability... Really??? I Could NEVER have guessed... So as the topiramate goes up, I have the secondary effects again!  The sleepiness, the dry mouth, the menace to all on the road when I drive... And After 3 weeks the office has finally realised that I drive to the bank and I might be a liability!!! TOO LATE!  "I am getting used to the dose now"  I am so unhappy with them all.  THe H/R checks up on me everyday to see if I am -okay- not out of concern but to be sure I do not crach and burn the deposit!  more of the interesting tasks taken away...  another moment of humiliation in front of the others. 
 
I finally understand why!  people hide their diagnosis and medications.  It is not the people but the Machine.  It is the politics and the faceless illness you become. 
 
Can you believe I was told three times that our insurance often accepts sick leave reason from a doctor, with a reason adjustment to psychiatic medication?  Do they think I am an idiot? I understood the first time.  But 3 times, do they want to get rid of me? 

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