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13 років тому 0 +0 / -0 4027

You win only if you aren't afraid to lose. - Rocky Aoki

Chasing a goal involves trial, error,uncertainty and eventually success

13 років тому 0 +0 / -0 4027

Thanks Davit.

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Hugs.

Anything that will get positives into your memory will do. One caution though. Beware of making comparisons because you will record the negative you are comparing to. Always end with a positive even if it is barely one. This does work but takes time.

Davit.

Hot here, transplanting peppers today.

13 років тому 0 +0 / -0 4027

Davit,

Using my thought records is something which would help, since i reframe the negative thought successfully. Then those buried thougths will be changed. I supposed I need to attempt it, instead of living in "wishland".

A wish is a desire without an attempt. - Farmer Digest

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Done, not one as I typed, Some times my keyboard won't type the letter "d".

Sorry for the confusion.

Davit.

13 років тому 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs

The mind is like a deep freeze, you can only get out of it what you put in. Unlike a deep freeze though when you use something from memory it gets recycle back again. This is the point where you can change it. Not so much change it as to add on or better yet bury it with something else. Survival skills that we no longer need still keep us storing things in our memory that may be needed for future reference. And being survival skills a lot of them are negative. A safety feature meant to prevent us from getting trapped by reminding us of past hazards. Things like this keep us out of accidents in heavy traffic but can also keep us out of heavy traffic if we start playing them before necessary. This is preventable by storing something on top of or attached to that thought. EG. In heavy traffic think about pleasant

distractions so the next time you have to travel in heavy traffic and start to think about it (worry) you will be able to draw on the pleasant experience instead of the unpleasant.

We are born with an empty mind except for a few instincts carried over from our parents as survival instincts. From day one till eleven months we store everything. From then till seven years we learn to add on or bury these memories before we store them depending on what is influencing us. This is when our first core beliefs are built. This is when other people have the most influence on us. Core beliefs if they are strong interfere with changing memory. But managing to change memory changes core beliefs in effect making them null even though they are still there.

Do you know anything about Horses. A horse has a small brain and because it is not a predator it is very dependent on survival skills. To train a horse you do the same thing over and over till it's memory is flooded with it. You can work a horse hard for four hours and it will do it every day. Because that is what recycles in it's memory. But lend it to someone who works it only two hours and you will reprogram its memory so that it is now hard to get four hours out of it. Enough confusion and it becomes almost useless.

The same happens with people. If you have a bad experience in a situation the next time you are in a similar situation you will expect a bad experience unless you prevent it and if you do have a bad experience because you expect to then you will have reinforced your memory to expect nothing else. In the thought (panic) triangle this is the point between the second and third leg where decisions on how to act are made. This is also the point where what will be recycle to memory is decided.

So to make all this simple. Every time you are in a situation where you start to think "I've had a bad experience last time" Change it to "this is a new experience and a chance to make it good". This way if you can find something good in it you will store it for future reference next time a similar situation happens. Do this often enough and the negative thought is buried out of reach. How many times depends on if it is attached to a core belief and how strong it is. It can be one and people describe the experience when they no longer bring up the negative thought from memory as like to having an empty spot where it was. Make no mistake it is still there just not accessible because of all the positive on top of it. Therefore if trauma brings it up it may be necessary to bury it again. But it is easier second time round.

Davit. Feel free to question any part of this that is confusing.

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Davit,

Can you give a simple example of how you change the memory?

We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible. - Chretien Malesherbes

13 років тому 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs

I used to think that what woke me was the trigger for my panic attacks till I learned how the thought triangle works. In fact what woke me was only a reaction to the actual trigger which I could not find because in a panic state I was focusing on what woke me even though there appeared to be no reason for it.

It is like this. Something has bothered you to the extent that it is causing you stress but you block it till a weak moment. During this weak moment (usually sleep or fatigue) your mind goes looking for associated memories in an attempt to find a solution for what is really bothering you. Most times this works, you attach the solution to the problem and it is over till next time. But if you have an unsolved memory of an associated situation you can get locked on it and it comes to the front and appears to be the trigger even though it isn't.

Like you said, you haven't been there in years but if you don't resolve this memory it will show up when something even remotely associated with it bothers you. The good news is that if you find a way to deal with the memory of it in a positive way you will have a positive way in your memory to deal with what is the actual trigger even if you never know what that trigger is or just can't find it.

It is a fact that intelligent people have more anxiety than those of lesser intelligence because they spend more time in their memory looking for solutions. This is different from those who just have excessive worry over the same thing even though they are both treated the same way. Restructuring memory with positive memories. More CBT.

Davit.

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If you set a goal for yourself and are able to achieve it, you have won your race. Your goal can be to come in first, to improve your performance, or just to finish the race -- it's up to you.
- Dave Scott

Hi Davit,

I'm inspired by your story of recovery. I suppose that for summer, I'll have gardening as something to occupy me. I'd awoken with concern over a nightmare of work and it's conflict, but I haven't been there for years.

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Vincenza.

Had to think on your questions. This may sound odd but the quiet is not what it takes to block panic but it does help. What works is immersing myself in a project and flooding my mind with those thoughts so that when I cycle (circling round the triangle) I will always come back to something positive. It can take up to an hour to load my thought memory with enough positive thoughts to block the panic that was about to turn into an attack. (if it is a strong memory setting it off) Some times it only takes the time it takes to do dishes. Mindless garden weeding works well for this. So does journaling, maybe even more so.

You have to realize that even living in paradise there are still the usual stresses, poor health and not enough money. (for extras only, I'm not suffering :-) )

The natural beauty does create a sense of well being that keeps most of the panic away but every once in a while a memory will sneak in. I saw a lot of senior abuse in the hospital, not all of it intentional but the thought that it could happen to me is enough to set me on the road to panic. This goes against not letting worry about the future happen, but it is a pretty strong worry. I try to enjoy every day and hope I die in paradise before I get to that point.

Like my therapist says, most people only get 80% panic free, (we have too many memories to draw on) I think I am doing better than that. What does it matter, if a person has enough coping skills to keep panic to just that, normal panic and not an attack. All part of the CBT process.

I believe a person can form coping skills no matter where they live if they try hard enough, it is just a matter of overcoming the thoughts that all is hopeless that has to happen first.

Davit.

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