Dear Vickers4: Thank you, thank you for your well-written and valuable advice. I feel a lot better today. It is interesting about what you say about people not thinking about you - I was in church over the weekend - I am one of the church organists. There was a leftover bulletin in the pew in front of me from a funeral. I didn't play for the funeral, so I took a look at it. I realized that the funeral (3/21/05) was for the mother of the new landlord! Not only has he bought a new house in the past month, but he buried his mother as well. I sure his father is grieving and he has all of the turmoil that follows death to deal with. I am starting to realize how self-centered I have been about this situation. I think part of my trouble with "landlords" as a whole comes from troubles that my wife and I had with our old landlady (similar upstairs/downstairs duplex situation). This lady was nutty - we brought our Christmas tree outside after the holidays one year, and she discovered pine needles on the front step. The next morning we found them swept in a neat pile in front of our door! :eg: That was the last straw in years of nastiness from her. I still shudder at the thought of her. (Of course, from the funeral bulletin, it looks like the sister of my new landlord/neighbor married one of our old landlady's relatives -- eek!) Sorry about the tangent - I think I really was damaged psychologically by that evil woman. And she was evil too; many other people have said to us that they have the same opinion of her. I think the hardest thing for me in this new situation will be for me to not be nosy and obsessed about what our new neighbors are doing. You are right, we don't have to be best friends, but I do have to be civil to them. If you have any more hints as to how I can respect their privacy while they are outdoors (there is no real privacy between our yards) I would appreciate it. Thanks again for your help! Your advice is a "keeper!)

Hey Neighbor! That's a tough one. I am the kind of person that wants nothing to do with her neighbors because I don't want people to be coming over all the time and I don't like feeling like I always have to be "on" the way we tend to be around people. I work full time and maybe I just treasure my time off too much. ;p I know it's hard to know how to deal with people coming into your world, especially when you don't know what to expect. But, please remember that you cannot control that. We need to let go of things we cannot control and except things for what they are - not what we think they should be. I know that's hard, but it is something I am also working on. Don't worry about your old neighbors that would take off when they saw you. Maybe they also have anxiety problems and were feeling anxious with the thought of being confronted by people - you never know! Don't worry if your driveway is a little out of bounds. If the landlord is upset about it, they are not upset with you. Just because he / she is a landlord doesn't mean they stop being a person. Most people are willing to work things out and avoid confrontation. If there's a problem, talk with him / her and work something out that is agreeable with both of you. When you start feeling like people are talking about you, remember this quote: "You would be amazed if you knew how often people weren't thinking about you." People in general are so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't really dwell on other people's lives the way we think they do. I have this same problem but I always remind myself of that quote - it helps. As far as advice on being a good neighbor, I would suggest just being a good neighbor by being friendly but not overbearing and invasive. Smile and say hi, offer help if you think your neighbor needs some help with something, but don't be offended if declined. Be a good neighbor by respecting your neighbors space, privacy and need to be who they are. Accept them for who they are and don't fret when they are not what you want them to be. That's what makes this world so wonderful - the fact that everyone is so different, but still so much alike.

Hi neighbor, Your fellow members should be responding to your post and questions soon, but I just wanted to welcome you to the site. Please feel free to roam the site at your own pace. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find many supportive tests. These tests are not diagnostic tools and are not a replacement or substitute for a physicians advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When youre finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. We also have developed a Panic Program. This program is 12-weeks and involves the tools mentioned above. Each session is based on the previous session, so we strongly advise that you work slowly through the program and not jump ahead. If you have any questions or concerns with our "TOOLS" you can contact our support department at support@paniccenter.net. Casey ______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team

Hi. This is my first post in a panic forum. I do not believe that I have a panic disorder, but perhaps some undiagnosed anxiety problems. We have a very quiet neighborhood. Next door to our house is a duplex (upstairs/downstairs). No one has lived there for 8 months. There was an elderly lady downstairs, who was nice, and a young couple with a 1 year old daughter. The people upstairs were very unlike us - they liked loud rock music, he had tatoos, you get the idea. They were friendly for awhile, but then stopped saying hello all of a sudden and would run in their house whenever my wife and I would be outside. They bought a house and the elderly lady went into a nursing home. The house was recently sold. I believe it closed yesterday. My wife knows the new landlord (sort of) - his daughter went to the school where my wife teaches. I don't know the new landlord or his wife at all. i know that our paths will cross soon and I am afraid... afraid of the new tenants being weird like the old ones, afraid that they will be uneducated and "trashy." I know I am being unreasonable, but my stomach has been in knots all day because of this. I want to be a good neighbor. We don't have to be best friends, but I want to be civil with these people. Part of the problem is that there really isn't much privacy between our yards. Also, I am afraid because last night I saw the old owner (the elderly lady's daughter) and the new owner discussing (loudly - but the windows were closed so I am not sure) the fact that our driveway goes over the property line by a foot (not our doing - the land was eased to us by the old owner). I am afraid of a conflict with the new landlord over this, and am afraid that we might get off on a bad foot. I find myself peeking out windows in our house lately to find out if our new neighbors have arrived. When the old neighbors were there I found myself looking out of our windows to see if they were outside or at home. Questions: 1. I know I am being unreasonable. How can I overcome this fear of new neighbors? 2. Any ideas how to stop obsessing about what our neighbors are up to? 3. Any ideas about how to be a friendly neighbor? 4. Any ideas abo